I remember very clearly giving birth to my first child, Micah. It was long and hard. I remember the sense of relief when the epidural took effect! And there was a special button on the armrest of the hospital bed--this button that, once you received the epidural, would shoot more numbing medication into your bloodstream--more relief when you started feeling the pain! I pushed the button often and was starting to feel like this labor-thing wasn't all that bad! Until a while later when I started to feel the contractions, harder and stronger than before. I pushed the button again and again, but the pain was getting worse! I quickly called the nurse in, and explained to her the problem.
"Honey," she said, "I'm sorry, but we had to stop the medication because the baby's almost here, and you need to be able to feel what is happening so you can push this baby out!" I glared at her, and then she proceeded to hold my hand and coach me until Micah's arrival.
Lately, my soul has felt pregnant with this new thing God is doing. Sometimes very uncomfortable...but also very expectant! And now, as we approach our moving date, I feel like a pregnant woman in her third trimester. "Okay, God, we're ready for this! I'm so done with this pregnancy! I know it will hurt, but bring it!"
And then, when the birth pains come--the goodbyes, the what-ifs, the emptying of myself of everything we have loved and known here--I find myself looking for the epidural button. Calling for God.
"Ummm...God? The button isn't working! This kinda hurts!"
But, being the perfect doctor, he lovingly responds. "My child, I need you to feel this. These birth pangs are proof that the life is coming! Just hold on, and it will be here before you know it. And I'll be here holding your hand, coaching you, and cheering you on until it comes!"
Child-bearing enlarges the heart. The raw pains of birth bring forth new life, and also new love. We love our children more deeply and fiercely than we ever could have imagined. And this is a beautiful image of God's heart for us. He loves us more deeply and fiercely and perfectly than anyone ever could, and he took the ultimate pains to show it. And as if that weren't enough, he reproduces that love in us. In our lives this is often a painful birthing process, a dying to ourselves, but we can be sure that the resulting joy will be worth it.
So we're stepping out of the boat and onto the water! Fixing our eyes on Jesus, who endured much more pain and suffering for the pure joy of bringing us to our Father.
More life is coming! More love is on it's way! And the joy God's love has put in these faces is just a glimpse of what He will reveal. It will be worth it! His glory is always worth it.
These [pains] have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:7)
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. (Romans 8:22-25 The Message)
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